BFFs

I just got home from an all girl weekend. Not gonna lie. It was pretty amazing. And hard. really hard actually. But i needed it.
6 girls, 1 beach house, 3 amazing days in Aptos, CA.

For those of you who don't know (like me a week ago), Aptos is about 10 minutes from Santa Cruz. It's a small national beach park that looks pretty much deserted if you're on the beach and has the cutest neighborhood ever. I got the privilege this weekend of staying in a beach house walking distance of the ocean and being pampered by one of my best friend's mom and aunt!

I've been having a hard time lately understanding friends.
there are different levels of friends.

1There are friends that are your acquaintances.

2There are friends that you can laugh with no matter what time of the day. You might not always share your deepest darkest secrets with them, but it's almost understood that its okay.

3There are friends that you become instantly close with and are joined at the hip with for a period of time and then other times its like you don't even know them.

4There are friends that know you and that love you for YOU. That understand you without words even needed to be exchanged. That you can fight with for no reason and even though you are frustated with them and want to do something really mean to their car, you know that you will make up with them and things will be okay in a little bit.

5Then there are friends who are always there no matter what. You never fight. You agree on everything. I like those friends.


I'm having trouble with number 4. ugh.

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;never selfish, not quick to take offense.There is nothing love cannot face;there is no limit to its faith,its hope, and endurance.In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;but the greatest of them all is love.”

just you weight.

So we've run into a little problem with this whole "giving up laziness" thing. Now, before you start going judgemental on me it's not that i'm wanting to stop. That's not it at all actually. There are just complications.
This next Friday the 15 we're having a blood drive at our school. I really want to do it too. But, because of my weight...well, lets just say i don't fit the qualifications...
SOOOOO...i'm trying to gain weight, AND excercise at the same time. Can that work? I had a pasta dinner last night, i've had bread galore, sugar like none other, and The soda with the highest concentrate of sugar.
BUT...with my metabloism as high as it is, if i excercise at ALL all that potential weight goes away with the snap of a finger.
I realize that i shouldn't take this seemingly magical power for granted, but seriously? You people that think that us skinny people have it easy...think that we can eat anything we want, when we want, and excercise when we feel like it, don't realize how annoying it is when everyone is always reminding you how "good you have it". I feel like a selfish little girl when people frown upon me for having a fast metabolism. It's like they think i have control over how my body processes food. It makes me feel like crap being reminded how good i have it. Ironic, yes? I would rather be over weight than to make someone feel like THEY are overweight, when in reality they're only 10-20 lbs more than i am. It's ridiculous. So next time you look at your best friend in the dressing room and say with a sigh "I wish i was as skinny as you are", think again. The only thing that accomplishes is making your friend feel awkward and guilty for being the size she is. There's a fine line between complimenting and using a compliment to complain.
Maybe, instead say, "i like your figure" or "those pants fit you really well". Or if you can't think of anything nice to say...take a lesson from Thumper.

This was a weird blog.

P.S.
Here's a secret: You're not as big as you think you are. AND us "tiny people" almost never can tell the difference between someone wearing a size 2 or a size 8...or maybe thats just me?

Exercise!

Well, i have a new month's resolution.
I have realized how LAY to the ZEE I am, and so i thought that needed to change. I was walking around San Luis Obispo on Friday and when i got back to the place i was staying, i was dead. My Legs were sore, my abs were sore, and pretty much every muscle i used had some level of tenderness to it. Not good. I would say those are all signs of being out of shape.
*GASP*
YES.

out of shape.

I never wanted to be out of shape. It's not lioke i gained any weight, or lost any weight, or all of a sudden had massive cellulite reside on my thighs. Just slowly since i've been out of volleyball my muscles became untrained and weak. And so has my heart.
I realize that i am making this sound extremely crucial and serious, and in some sense i guess it is. It's important to be in shape. But it's good to have high cardio strength and fit calves and thighs.

Today is also the first day of lent, so guess what i'm giving up? Laziness.
Every day after work (so far i've been doing this for 2 days and i've stuck to it) I am going to work out on the elliptical for 30 mins. Once that becomes too easy, i'll bump it up.
I'm excited!

I have been learning so much lately. about myself. i'm glad i'm learning it now and not later. I find myself looking in the wrong direction. I'm not going the wrong direction. But i'm afraid if i keep looking I'll eventually go there. And i don't want to. I know that. And i'm glad i know that.