Growing Pains

Shiny new quarter

2009-03-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

well, i haven't written in a long long time. mainly because i forgot that i had a blog. haha. life can get crazy. not just crazy....but overwhelming. This past year has been a flurry of unexpected events that i really wouldn't have even considered believing if you had told me about them a year ago.

From my grandpa passing, to attending Cal Poly, to being in a FABULOUS relationship with my BEST friend, to having money smuggled from my family (yeah...not the best)so much has happened.

Last quarter i didn't do so well grade wise, but luckily we get another quarter, and i have high hopes to get get my grades up.

A hobby I've taken up since i moved to San Luis Obispo is line dancing which is extremely fun. I frequent "The Graduate" ( a restaurant/night club in SLO) on Thursdays for a long night of country music and dancing. Eric used to drag me there the first quarter (i did NOT want to go with him...because i did NOT want to like him, but that's another story that won't be shared on this blog) and then eventually friends were made there and it became something that i actually enjoyed.

And you might think that since i live on the coast i am at the beach every single day, always playing in the sand and waves...but on the contrary i ONLY make it there once a week...which isn't that much at all! (i kid of course...about it being not that much...i really do go there that often).

This next quarter I'm extremely excited for though...my classes are more oriented towards my major:

English 145 (argumentative writing)
English 290 (Into to Linguistics)
History 207 (Freedom and Equality in U.S. History)
Statistics 130 (Intro to Statistical reasoning)

i'm sooooo excited!

i think that's it for now. I hope you all are well.

onward and upward.

2008-10-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

i got a job :)
it's on campus nad seems pretty easy, but long hours.
okay...not LONG hours...but for the work i'll be doing it will seem like forever i'm guessing.
You may be wondering what the job is. It's a phone-a-thon. No, i won't be ANSWERING calls, i'll be MAKING calls. Making calls, and asking people for money.
So yes, i'm a telemarketer. I've never known a telemarketer before. I'm guessing thats because no one would really like to admit they're a telemarketer. I guess in a sense i'm not ACTUALLY a telemarketer because it's not jus RANDOM calling to whoever. We call the alumni and parents of students (which i think is kind of ridiculous since parents are already paying for their child's education to Cal Poly) and ask them first for $1000 (!) and then if (when) they say no we ask them if they would like to donate a gift anywhere over $5.
So anyway, i don't start that job til next quarter because of my chedule this quarter, but i'm guaranteed a job there, which is nice and allows me to relax a little bit.

thats whats up in Slo. im missing home. but not too much. a healthy amount i think :)

dream no mo'

2008-10-02T01:41:00.001-07:00

i haven't dreamt in awhile.

or...i haven't remembered dreaming in a while.

It makes me sad. That used to be the reason i would sleep.

Living the dream...

2008-09-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

So i made it through my first week of college.

So many weird things of happened.
I realized I can be anyone i want to be. One time, i met this girl in the lunch line and i told her mine name was heidi...just because i could. i haven't seen her since.
Okay, maybe that's not the best thin to do...i guess that's abusing this new found "power". Or something. i don't know.

I love cal poly so far though...I've made some great friends, enjoyed seeing old ones, and am looking forward to living with 150+ new people this year in the liberal arts dorm.

Last Sunday my girl friends and i took swing dancing lessons. I now want to be a professional swing dancer, just in case you were wondering. It was so much fun. Then this Thursday we're going line dancing at the grad. caaaan't wait! so many new things to try!

Amongst the new things...there are still the old familiar things, such as homework. Yay. I'm only taking 12 units (I know, i know...) but it is a lot of work! Spanish is probably the most work, since i can make speeches up off the top of my head in my public speaking class (yeah...that's right) and my at class, well...its art.
It's a whole new way of studying though, let me tell you! I don't think i ever studied this hard for a quiz ONCE in high school. If i had studied this hard i would have for SURE been a valedictorian.

whatever. I'm glad i didn't stress out in HS. I just got to save it for college. :)

I'm not going to lie...on the first day of class i had my first "Oh Crap" moment. and it wasn't a good one.
I get to my Spanish class and we start going over the material and i can't understand anything the teacher is saying. not ONE thing. I guess i didn't think i was as rusty as i actually was. To make a long story durable though...i didn't think i would be able to switch to a lower level, but there was ONE class available with this really great professor. So God has it under control. Of course. Probably if i hadn't freaked out and trusted Him in the first place i wouldn't have felt as homesick and down and freaked out as i did.

hmmm...lets see, what else have i done since i've been here?
here's a little picture timeline of my time here so far...

Kayaking!

At farmers market with WOW group...we were "Wacky MC's"

We bought some fish (then they died)

we had a bonfire on the beach

Climbed to the top of Bishop's Peak that overlooked all of San Luis Obispo

went to thrift shop PROM! woot!

slow dancing in a burning room

2008-08-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

My room mates keep talking. i should sleep. but i can't. what a good day.

went to yosemite again today. My girls and i went LAST weekend. rode bikes and such. Then today we took the boys. yessss...the boys. different kind of fun.

We were all set on hiking glacier point (8 miles) until we actually got into yosemite. Then we decided we didn't want to hike 8 miles. :)
So we then decided to hike 6 miles up to nevada falls.

soooo pretty. words can't describe. today was amazing. aaaaaamazing. *sigh*
i don't even know what to type tonight. I guess i just wanted to say how amazing this day was. And just the wonderfulness of the nature and God's beauty. I ouldn't go 2 minutes without thinking about how special God created everything around me. Even the fatty squirrels that ate though michelle's backpack and her whole lettuce wrap she had.

i'm going to miss everyone up here at Camp. i'll miss having to wake up in the early morning. i'll miss having to stay in the dish room late at night washing gun off plates kids had stuck on them. I'll miss my crazy team. my diverse team. The team that has techno music to bond us together. Our glue. Our dancing.
i'll miss the maintenance team. There. I said it. With their strut as they come over the hill down to dinner. Just...epic.
I'll miss Mike.
I'll miss Jill.
I'll miss Matt.
I'll miss Paige.
i'llmiss Michelle.
I'll miss Buck.
and Robin.
and Warren.
and Peter.

I'll miss front porch sitting. Those times when i'd come down tomy cabin after a hard days work and find 6-7 people sitting, talking, laughing, playing games on my porch. it felt like how life was supposed to be. When i would walk up to my porch they would all welcome me and ask how my day went. i would always give an honest answer...and most of the time they cared. Which was nice. It's hard to find genuine people.

i'll miss the stars.
Nuff said.

i'll be home in a week though. A week. 7 days. i want to cry. Not tears of sadness though. Tears of Joy. joy because this summer is exactly what i needed. exactly where i was supposed to be. i was meant to be here. i expanded my ideas. i've learned from my mistakes, i took risks i shouldn't have taken, and i've realized that i need to remember there will always be consequences for things I do. And i'm responsible.

oh man. morning shift next week. yay for waking up at 5!

i miss you and love you.

2008-07-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

i love calvin Crest.
this summer has flown by soooo fast. it's ridiculous. I only have 3 weeks, possibly only 2 weeks left up here, and it feels like i just started working.

It's pretty hard work too. Not hard work like my friends on the Maintenance team...which includes mowing lawns, fixing handrails, and digging trenches. Or hard work like Accommodations including scrubbing toilets, washing soiled sheets, and changing trash bags along with maintaining overflow. But hard mentally stressful work. Rushing around work. Deadline work.

Deadlines seem to be following me.
It's always "pay by this date" or sign up "before this date" or "the pizzas need to be ready by 5:15 sharp". They're everywhere.

Sunday nights are fun. my 5 friends Michelle, jill, Buck, Matt, and mike and I all play scrabble on sunday nights ("Scrabble Sunday Sundown"). I got 3 place tonight...not bad. I've been getting better actually. I usually don't do too well!

This week i have the PM shift...meaning i start at 1pm every day and get off around 9. It's nice because then i get to sleep in. Even if it does mean missing breakfast. The only breakfast i dont want to miss is friday's breakfast in Sherwood, the elementary school camp. Thursday for them in Breakfast burritos...which i must say are to DIE for. Oh man. my stomach is growling just thinking about them. Friday will be a good day. I'll visit with my friend counseling down there, eat a burrito, hang out, then go to work.

that's the only thing i don't like about being up here and my schedule. I always do the same thing.

Routine.

Maybe tomorrow i'll do something different. I'll sleep in...then what? maybe read. no...i do that EVERY DAY.

make a bracelet? sure. send letters i've been meaning to mail for the past month? good idea.

I've learned a lot about myself this summer. Who i am. who i want to be. who i DON'T EVER want to be. thats a big one. but it was necessary. and good.

Yesterday (saturday) i went to yosemite with 3 of my girl friends up here. We rented bikes (they had 4 left...perfect!) and rode around the valley. We stopped when we wanted to stop, We took pictures, we climbed rocks, we laughed, we swam, we got hit on, we ate, and we loved. It was a good day. Just as we were getting ready to leave, a rose colored smoke started to pour into the valley, giving everything a Sepia tone. There was a Fire near Mariposa causing the smoke to overflow into everything. So it was perfect timing that we were leaving. Plus it made everything appear as if we were staring through rose colored glasses. We then went to Forks for dinner at Bass Lake, where we sat and ate dinner in pure bliss. We were all just so happy with our day and how perfect it had been. Straight from a storybook. There just happened to be 4 bikes left, we just happened to leave at the right time. There just happened to be four bar seats the Forks Restaurant. It was perfect.

I wish everyone could have a day like that every now and then. I know a lot of people don't get to. People deserve a day like that though. So if you need one...take one.

I miss and love you all. I'll be home before you know it.

Porch sitting

2008-07-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

I have a new appreciation for porch sitting. it's so relaxing. just talking with people, playing games...visiting with people, friends, that pass by. It's relaxing.

this is week 4 that i have been up here at alvin Crest Conferences and working in the kitchen. Just over a month to be specific. The summer has FLOWN by...it's already half over. it feels like I just got here. time flies when you'e having fun...i guess.

I've been having problems though. About a week ago i woke up with my glands swollen behin my ears. they've been swollen ever since. So 2 days ago i went and saw the nurse. She said that i should be fine and to just drink water...so i did.
After i saw the nurse, i was walking and talking (not a good idea) and i fell into manhole. one leg in, one leg out kinda. it was WEIIIIRD. Fortunately there were people around to help me.

Unfortunately there were people around. It was REALLY embarrassing.

So anyway...the next morning, i woke up and my hands and feet were swollen. i don't know why. but they were. So it's been really hard to walk and do stuff with my hands. I ended up going into fresno yesterday (which, by the way, I imagine hell to feel like) for a doctor's appt. they drew blood, i got results today and everything's normal.

Weird. So i don't know what i'm going to do. my feet don't fit into any of my closed toed shoes besides my crocs so that's kind of depressing.

Sunday was my grandpa's birthday. I miss him. It was a month on the 3rd of july since he passed. Time flies.

If you think of it...pray for endurance for my kitchen team. We're under a lot of pressure right now and are all really stressed, leading to short tempers. And we don't want to take our emotions out on the food!

I hope all is well with the outside world...if you ever want topop into the calvin Crest bubble, feel free!

sir Vey!

2008-04-26T11:40:00.000-07:00

60 things you may not have known about me until you read this...

What is in the back of your car?
my "justin case", atowel,apirateate with dreads, and top ramen.

What color is your toothbrush?
blue

Name one person that made you smile today?
i don't think i'e smiled today. okay, i did just now to prove myself that i could, and it pined me to smile.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
trying to sleep

What Were you doing 45 minutes ago?
going to the bathroom.

What is your favorite candy bar?
milky way

Have you ever been to a strip club?
lol no.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
SIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

What is the best ice cream flavor?
homemade peach

What was the last thing you had to drink?
7-up

What are you wearing right now?
battle of barstow tshirt, and cropped cotton pj pants with hearts on them.

What was the last thing you ate?
a cracker. i know...it was a splurge!

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
yep!

When was the last time you ran?
to the bathroom this morning. i know...how pleasant.

The last sporting event you watched?
baseball...on tv and in person.

What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
movie theater kind,extra butter extra salt

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
nathan i think.

Ever go camping?
yeah. i miss it.

Do you take vitamins daily?
i try.

Do you go to church every Sunday?
usually

Do you have a tan?
its pretty weak.

Do you like Chinese food over pizza?
idk...

Do you drink your soda with a straw?
if i am at home no.

What did your last text message say?
"you need to go to the doctor." true that becky!

Are you someone's best friend?
yeah :)

What are you doing tomorrow?
stayin in bed.

Where is your dad?
outside trimming the bushes

Look to your left, what do you see?
a plate of saltine crackers, a bathrobe, and a clutterd bulletin board

What color is your watch?
poiple!

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
koalas

Do you use chapstick?
yep

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
depends

What is your favorite number?
2

Do you have a dog?
2!

Last person you talked to on the phone?
doni

Have you met anyone famous?
not really. oh yeah!! barbara morgan. lol the space astronaut

Any plans today?
nope

How many states have you lived in?
uno

Ever go to college?
next year!

Do you dye your hair?
nope.
:(

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
the flu

Last song listened to?
the one on my myspace

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
nope. not that skilled.

Do you have a maid service clean your house?
her name's mom :)
lol

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
MY RAINBOWS

What was your wedding song?
not married

Are you jealous of anyone?
right now, everyone thats healthy.

Is anyone jealous of you?
prob. not.

Do you love someone?
yep

Do any of your friends have children?
yeah

Do you eat healthy?
yes.
well sometimes

What do you usually do during the day?
goto school...go to work,hang with friends.

Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
no i dont hate.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
not really.

What color is your car?
black.

Do you like cats?
i love mah babies!.

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
in jr high. lol

How did you get your worst scar?
tv falling on my head :) i'm bright.

for the JOY

2008-04-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

What does

"for the joy of the Lord"

mean?

Does it mean that i should be joyful that we HAVE a Lord?
Does it mean the Lord's joy?

Does it mean the joy that that Lord gives us?

Or Does is mean us making the Lord joyful?

I think its the last one.
For some reason as I was griping and groaning to myself about the dramas in High school and relationships, the unwanted homework, and the things that "should get done but never do" I thought of the verse

"For the joy of the Lord is your strength."

I've always interpreted it as, "As long s God is joyful, you'll have strength."
I now find that ridiculous; as of 5 minutes ago, i find that ridiculous!

Now I'm thinking its that making the Lord joyful by accepting the power of His grace and loving him fully is WHAT WE ARE STRONG IN!

not that because we can make God happy we are going to be strong in every aspect of our lives, but that WE HAVE AN ADVANTAGE.

I'm not trying to make light of any situation whatsoever. I simply am finding joy through those little things that actually matter.

Lovin' hoover

2008-04-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

I miss having butterflies. I haven't had them in a really long time. and i really miss them.
I guess it's good right now not getting butterflies.
When i say butterflies, i mean that feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to pee and run through a field at the same time. I know, what a combo.

------------------------------------------

Last week there was a lock down at my school. I was in an FCA meeting with Carter, Kristina, Amanda, and a few other people. Apparently a text message got sent around saying this kid had a gun and he was going to use it at 12:20. So...yeah...there was a lockdown.

Sitting in that classroom for a half hour made me think about everything that i love about Hoover. Weird, right? At a time like that people usually reminisce about all the OTHER sucky things about Hoover (yes, this has happened before).

I love the teachers treat you like adults. that they are real with you. That they aren't perfect and that they make mistakes too. I don't know if those are just my teachers, but i can honestly say that every single teacher i've had this year LOVES their job and LOVES teaching us kids.

I love the random conversations. Just walking from Mr. Stafford's yearbook class to Ms. Leyba's English class Becky, Jeff and I hear so many parts of conversations that we could probably write a novel about them!
For example: "then the girl just touched mah a**!"
"Hey shawty...wutchoo doin gurrr..."
"I ain't nah muddaF*** *&%*^% you ^&*^&^. you can just go..."
"And then she like, held his hand and then we like, went on the ride together
and it was like, so, like scary until..."
"why does it always smell like pot in the boys bathroom?" (freshman)

thus...the conversations.
I love the schedule. We get out at 2:30 three days a week, the other two days we get out at 1:50.

'nuff said.
I love the security guards. They are the laziest people i know. And they totally racial profile students. trust me...we ran a test in journalism that consisted of sending different kids from our racially and socially diverse class past the security guards. When Becky and I walked by (2 sweet innocent white girls with binders in our hands and bows in our hair) they said nothing to us. But when Max (gangsta thug boy with a big ol' diamond stud and baggy clothes...but definitely a good writer and a great asset to out class last year) walked by they stopped him and asked him what he was doing and why he was out of class.
There were other tests...but that proves enough.
Plus the SG's are really lax on who goes off campus :)
I love the rallies. We have BOMB rallies. the music, the dancers, the balloons, the signs, the games, the fun, the pictures...EVERYTHING is amazing.

I'm going to miss this school.

Well, we finally got out of the lock down an hour later. No one was harmed...it was supposedly a prank. So..whatever i guess. I just don't want to be there when everyone thinks its a "Hoover cries WOLF" time.

Belly Flops

2008-03-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

i want to be original.
A belly flop. That's what i want to be.
At the jelly belly factory, there is someone whose job is to sit in a chair while thousands of Jelly Bellys pass them by, picking out all the "messed up" jelly beans. They pick pick pick out the too fat, too small, too deformed, too squashed, too oblong jelly beans, and then package all the "Belly Flops" together to resell them.
Each Belly Flop is original. Irregular, if you will. I want to be one.

I'm so tired of trying to be a regular jelly bean. It feels like its too late to be belly flop but then again, its never too late.

I'm still suffering from decidophobia...but my vital signs are looking better and i actually am facing the decisions i'm having to make. And not on my own. It's been so hard to turn to God for these decisions lately. I think mainly because I don't know what He thinks about my situation. I know it sounds odd, but ignorance is bliss or me. And...unwillingly, that's changing. Everything is changing.

Little do some may know, that i really would prefer too keep things safe, and easy and go to Fresno State. I want to cry when i think about not living in Fresno, close to my family, in my own bed, driving around MY town, with my friends, knowing everyone and their mother's cats. For some reason I'm not supposed to do that. I don't know how long I'm going to be away...i don't know WHY...but I am.

Deuteronomy 11:13-15
So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul- then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil. I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied.

g-o. go go! come on Jordan lets go!

2008-03-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.

If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.

If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.
If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.
If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.
If you have the opportunity to go, you should go.

2008-03-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

Birthdays are weird.
Each year everyone has one. At one point or another. And after each year they seem to get less and less spectacular. Now, I don't know if it's just me...and really think it is, because everyone i talk to say they don't feel any different, but every birthday i have i feel significantly older. Especially THIS birthday. i didn't really do anything astounding today...just hung out. It was good though...not having an agenda.
I'm really tired. I know that's lame that on my 18th birthday that i went to bed before 10...but, really, i don't care. I celebrated last night...and tomorrow too. But today was MY day. and I wanted to relax. The older i get , the more i want to relax and simplify things. I don't know if its me trying to preserve my youth...or jus being plain lazy.

Yes...i am a bit young to be talking about preserving my youth. I'm only 18. But still...ONLY 18? it's starting to sound oxymoronic to me.

Sadie's was fun last night. Jeff broke his wrist in the first 15 minutes though. Poor guy. It was those dang inflatable obstacle courses. Can't trust em...

I wish i wasn't so tired. Oh well :) Time for bed!

Here's to another year of living and being young!

Decidophobia

2008-03-02T19:15:00.000-08:00

Things have been changing lately. I love when things change. I just don't like the process. If i could change something, i would rather just push a button, or turn a page, or something that only involves a One Step process. Maybe because i don't like decisions. I think i have a phobia.

Decidophobia

and yes. that is the technical name.
Not even joking.

Lately I've been doing everything in my power (which isn't a whole lot) to not make decisions. I think people that HAVE Decidophobia have i because it feels like every decision they've made always backfires on them. That's kind of whats going on right now. At least with making plans. My plans never turn out--NEVER--the way they're supposed to. *SIGH*

It's hard asking God o decide for me. It's weird though. I'm scared of making decisions, yet i won't let someone...*ahem*excuse me...the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE...make them for me. Sounds pretty smart doesn't it?

I just have too much in my life. TOOO much. I have Mexico training sessions, i have school dances, i have mission trips, i have homework, i have work, i have this and that and this and that. When does it stop? when do i have to say "STOP".

"oh, but...it'll be over in a week..."

Yeah Jordan... it'll be over in a week. Just in time for you to commit to something else for another 3 weeks.

I frustrate myself. ARGH.

BFFs

2008-02-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

I just got home from an all girl weekend. Not gonna lie. It was pretty amazing. And hard. really hard actually. But i needed it.
6 girls, 1 beach house, 3 amazing days in Aptos, CA.

For those of you who don't know (like me a week ago), Aptos is about 10 minutes from Santa Cruz. It's a small national beach park that looks pretty much deserted if you're on the beach and has the cutest neighborhood ever. I got the privilege this weekend of staying in a beach house walking distance of the ocean and being pampered by one of my best friend's mom and aunt!

I've been having a hard time lately understanding friends.
there are different levels of friends.

1There are friends that are your acquaintances.

2There are friends that you can laugh with no matter what time of the day. You might not always share your deepest darkest secrets with them, but it's almost understood that its okay.

3There are friends that you become instantly close with and are joined at the hip with for a period of time and then other times its like you don't even know them.

4There are friends that know you and that love you for YOU. That understand you without words even needed to be exchanged. That you can fight with for no reason and even though you are frustated with them and want to do something really mean to their car, you know that you will make up with them and things will be okay in a little bit.

5Then there are friends who are always there no matter what. You never fight. You agree on everything. I like those friends.

I'm having trouble with number 4. ugh.

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;never selfish, not quick to take offense.There is nothing love cannot face;there is no limit to its faith,its hope, and endurance.In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;but the greatest of them all is love.”

just you weight.

2008-02-11T08:09:00.001-08:00

So we've run into a little problem with this whole "giving up laziness" thing. Now, before you start going judgemental on me it's not that i'm wanting to stop. That's not it at all actually. There are just complications.
This next Friday the 15 we're having a blood drive at our school. I really want to do it too. But, because of my weight...well, lets just say i don't fit the qualifications...
SOOOOO...i'm trying to gain weight, AND excercise at the same time. Can that work? I had a pasta dinner last night, i've had bread galore, sugar like none other, and The soda with the highest concentrate of sugar.
BUT...with my metabloism as high as it is, if i excercise at ALL all that potential weight goes away with the snap of a finger.
I realize that i shouldn't take this seemingly magical power for granted, but seriously? You people that think that us skinny people have it easy...think that we can eat anything we want, when we want, and excercise when we feel like it, don't realize how annoying it is when everyone is always reminding you how "good you have it". I feel like a selfish little girl when people frown upon me for having a fast metabolism. It's like they think i have control over how my body processes food. It makes me feel like crap being reminded how good i have it. Ironic, yes? I would rather be over weight than to make someone feel like THEY are overweight, when in reality they're only 10-20 lbs more than i am. It's ridiculous. So next time you look at your best friend in the dressing room and say with a sigh "I wish i was as skinny as you are", think again. The only thing that accomplishes is making your friend feel awkward and guilty for being the size she is. There's a fine line between complimenting and using a compliment to complain.
Maybe, instead say, "i like your figure" or "those pants fit you really well". Or if you can't think of anything nice to say...take a lesson from Thumper.

This was a weird blog.

P.S.
Here's a secret: You're not as big as you think you are. AND us "tiny people" almost never can tell the difference between someone wearing a size 2 or a size 8...or maybe thats just me?

Exercise!

2008-02-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

Well, i have a new month's resolution.
I have realized how LAY to the ZEE I am, and so i thought that needed to change. I was walking around San Luis Obispo on Friday and when i got back to the place i was staying, i was dead. My Legs were sore, my abs were sore, and pretty much every muscle i used had some level of tenderness to it. Not good. I would say those are all signs of being out of shape.
*GASP*
YES.

out of shape.

I never wanted to be out of shape. It's not lioke i gained any weight, or lost any weight, or all of a sudden had massive cellulite reside on my thighs. Just slowly since i've been out of volleyball my muscles became untrained and weak. And so has my heart.
I realize that i am making this sound extremely crucial and serious, and in some sense i guess it is. It's important to be in shape. But it's good to have high cardio strength and fit calves and thighs.

Today is also the first day of lent, so guess what i'm giving up? Laziness.
Every day after work (so far i've been doing this for 2 days and i've stuck to it) I am going to work out on the elliptical for 30 mins. Once that becomes too easy, i'll bump it up.
I'm excited!

I have been learning so much lately. about myself. i'm glad i'm learning it now and not later. I find myself looking in the wrong direction. I'm not going the wrong direction. But i'm afraid if i keep looking I'll eventually go there. And i don't want to. I know that. And i'm glad i know that.

Growing Pains

2008-01-30T22:06:00.000-08:00

Every tree's gotta start somewhere. this is where i'm starting.

Apparently this whole blogger thingis like Xanga for adults. Since in society i'm considered a "young adult" I thought it was only appropriate that i emerged into this community of bloggers. So here I am. ready to share my life with the world. Literally.

thats whats so weird to me. Someone in china can type in my URL to my blog and just read about my life. So here's a shout out to those that aren't living in America!

Over the course of the next few decades (maybe thats exaggerating, i don't know...can't tell the future...) i will be unraveling my life for you. Without giving the specifics of course. I was told to never give out personal information over the WWW. And to me, that makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of wackos out there. Hopefully looking back at my blog entries i will see myself grow (possibly), mature (maybe), learn (definitely), and make a lot of mistakes (undeniably).

So...Future Jordan... who will be reading this later when she is in her 20's, hopefully attending UCSB...right now you are getting ready to graduate high school, you and your boyfriend just broke up, you are still working at your dad's boring office, and you have been getting into intense discussions about predestination vs. Free will and it's making your head hurt.

There's the start.

Now get ready for some growing pains.